I moved from Florida to Delaware in March of this year and I've found myself struggling with my identity. I am clinging to my Floridian roots more than I thought I would. I absolutely dread the day I have to get rid of my Florida tag and get a DELAWARE driver's license! For some reason I feel like it means a slow death when I make this change. It's a bit dramatic.. I know. :)
I just read an article in Self magazine that made me realize how much I am struggling with this move. The article was about a woman whose husband got a job in Texas, which meant she had to move from her roots in NYC. She felt her identity was 90% being a New Yorker. I am struggling with the same thing; I feel like "who am I?" since I moved. Don't get me wrong; the move was a GREAT thing, even though I miss my friends a LOT. (well, a select few!) I am closer to my family, in nursing school finally, and able to spend time with my family more than I could before. Oh.. and also.. there are SEASONS! I hate the heat with a passion. I hadn't even been to a beach in over 3 years, and I only lived about 20 minutes away from one.
I figured I'll eventually get a Florida tribute tattoo and it could be my way of clinging to that part of my life. It's time to figure out the 'new' me though; I can't exactly play the 'I just moved here from Florida' card much longer.. it's been like 9 months already! I find myself making excuses for things and using that 'card' often. For example.. all the roads up here are numbers. I am already directionally-disabled and get lost EVERYWHERE. It doesn't help that the roads are numbers! I literally have no idea when people tell me about where something is. Thank god for GPS! I still manage to get lost though.
Either way; it's definitely a work in progress, but I'm working on finding who I am now, today. Florida was a big part of me, but now it's time to figure out who I am without that.
What do you find yourself clinging to, or relating to as a big part of your identity?
P.S- An ex boyfriend of mine started talking to me recently and I am slowly re-realizing why we broke up.. yikes! Why did I like this guy?!
Ya know...I actually can relate to that. When I moved from Lincoln Nebraska to here (Iowa) I felt that way...I mean, both are in the midwest and right next to eachother, but Lincoln is the place I LOVE...so from day 1 of moving to Iowa, I was dead set on finishing school and moving RIGHT BACK to Nebraska...well alot has changed, and now I plan to be here for a while, for reasons you are aware of :) :) HAHA! But I think it's normal to feel that way, It will take time for Delaware to feel like "home" to you...but I think once things start falling into place a little bit more for you, you will be able to let go of Florida more...even though it wiill always be a part of you :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you can relate- I knew you probably could :) You obviously have something to stay for now! I know things won't feel this way for a while, and it's still pretty fresh. Thank you as always Becky!
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