Do any other women fear commitment just as much as (most) men do? Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want a boyfriend..I'd love one. BUT- as far as getting married, it terrifies me. Well, not necessarily the getting married part but the 50/50 chance of divorce! As far as my life goes, the marriages I've seen it seems like the wife is a slave and gave up all her hopes and dreams and feels like she missed out on things. Why would I want to feel that way!? I know a successful marriage isn't actually like that, and it is what you make of it (just like most things in life), but it's scary to me, how many people seem so miserable. I was involved with a guy for almost 5 years just about and I think that falling apart is another reason I am a little scared of the inevitable when it comes to commitment and marriage. Even though I was young when that fell apart (21), I still feel like if it didn't work then- will it work next time?
I am about to be 23 years old and I, quite honestly, get freaked out at the thought of being married one day. I know eventually it will happen, but right now it's kind of a daunting thought.
What's your opinion? How do I change my image of marriage from slavery to a happy partnership?
be positive...as cliche and DIFFICULT as that may sound. who gives a crap if it SEEMS like all the marriages around you are crumbling/failing. YOU are NOT like everyone else and should refuse to be another statistic...i say get married tomorrow! LOL totally kidding. but you get the general idea
ReplyDeleteJulia!! What a great comment :) Not getting married tomorrow, but maybe someday- if I can get someone to put up with me!
ReplyDeleteI think it's all about finding the right person to be with. Clyde and I are coming up on 5 years (total! WHAT?! OMG!) and I love him more now than I ever have before. I could see myself marrying him but the independent woman inside of me insists that marriage is not necessary (unless kids are involved). Neither of us want to get married because we both know that we love each other and feel like marriage would be a completely unnecessary step that is more for other people (friends and family) than for us and it would most likely just end up putting a lot of extra strain on our relationship.
ReplyDeletePlus successful marriages take a ton of work and commitment. I feel like once you get married you shouldn't just give up at the first bump in the road. Both parties really have to want the relationship to work. So don't feel like you have to get married one day, because that is entirely up to you. Thankfully times have changed and women can support themselves instead of relying on some archaic system that forced us into marriages and child birth.
I can totally see that point. Lots of people feel like marriage is the right 'next step' before kids but don't really understand what it's all about. I definitely want to get married for life and not divorced ever, but I also am not going to suffer through life if I end up with someone who isn't right for me. I am over thinking things as usual, but that's why I posted this- to see other people's points of view :)
ReplyDeleteI think that when you find the right person, those feelings will slowly begin to fall away...you wont be scared anymore, you will WANT to spend the rest of your life with that person, you will KNOW it's right, and you won't look back :)
ReplyDeleteBecky, you make a great point. I think my problem is mainly the fear of the thoughts I had before. I THOUGHT I was going to be ending up with that person, but things changed. I guess I fear the change, not the actual commitment.
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